Do less. Be More.

We live in a world where more is MORE and we need it. We need to do it. We need to own it. More anything. More everything.

Food. Money. Pets. Friends. Houses. Pillows. Phones. Data. Shoes. Jewelry. Cars. Cats. Music. More, more, more. New, old, vintage, underground, popular and shinny. It doesn't matter the condition, we just want more.

We live in a world of more and constant busy-ness. Our lives are determined by those who we spend time with and what is in our bank account, or so we are taught. We didn't think or act like this when we came into the world though, this was taught to us. This was learned behavior. We use to think everyone in the sand box was our friend no matter what they dressed or smelled like. As children money didn't really mean much to us, we didn't even fully understand the concept either. Someone to play with was always welcomed with a smile. But now we only talk and work with people like us. People say "we aren't naive anymore." putting others in boxes, judging them on where they are at in their life based on age, possessions, education. I'm guilty of doing this too!

I don't know about you, but I don't want to live in a world like that. I don't want people in my life who think like that. In fact I already have been collecting people in my life who love me unconditionally, even if sometimes we find ourselves tethered to old beliefs.

So I step away. We becomes I.

If you don't work... how do you prove your worth? Apparently people do not have worth by simply "being". Frankly I can neither prove or deny if I do. I'd like to think I do. Therapists, motivational speakers and loved ones say I do. I once thought my life had value because "we are all children of god, and had a purpose before this life", but that ship has since sailed along with many other fairytales I told myself in this life's journey. It seems my own idea's are the ones that keep me stimulated/tethered. My ideas of myself, other people and world keep me in a specific paradigm.

Some people call this moment "woke", or a process of "new awakening". Indeed the moment when you see life through a different lens, the world is unlike anything you previously understood. But these aren't your typical rosey colored specs that came complimentary with your blanket when the stork drop you at your parents front door. These were scotopic events. One rarely gets to this new life by accident or on pleasant adventures. One is on a deep self search when all seems lost, things are confusing and you want answers. It is often in one's darkest times we begin to see life very differently, and we long for change. I asked hard questions and I got difficult answers.

We can never go back to how we once viewed the world. There is a new person calling the shots, sitting at the head of our table. I share this table with past ideologies and things I haven't let go of yet. This wasn't a "hire from the inside" kind of job. This new person looks and smells different and is placing new ideas into motion before we even have a moment to process or resist. They walked in, doors swinging, papers flying in the cramped office with their brisk movements. They threw the windows open for the sunlight to finally be let in. I saw the specs of lingering dust transient around the window, stood hands on hips in the light as we all squinted confused what was happening and they took the fuck over.

We can remember just days ago we were living without knowing this new person and their way of life ever existed... and somehow we are here now. Fighting with the new boss on occasion, but mostly snickering under our breath and gossiping with others about it. The new boss is kind of attractive with all that assertiveness after all. So now what?

Our mind is set on another unfamiliar course. So much to learn. The boss has fired a lot of people, some just walked out all on their own unable to handle the new change and the rest of us are finding the work load is difficult. Less is more. Less is more.

We don't permit racism, bigotry, purity shamming anymore but we remember where they use to sit. . . I still need to Pledge the lines on the wood desk that their trophies proudly use to stand. Little by little, those seeds that were planted from unique ideas here and there and practices of mindfulness, begin to grow. And you transform. I remember years ago sharing a blog on my Facebook, it was called "The Disease of Being Busy" The author said "What happened to a world in which we can sit with the people we love so much and have slow conversations about the state of our heart and soul, conversations that slowly unfold, conversations with pregnant pauses and silences that we are in no rush to fill?"

And I found myself sitting with people, enjoying their company, absorbing new ideas, and wanting to be like them. Naturally I am extroverted and people fill my energy levels. Where as I feel lonely and sad if left to myself for any lengths of time. I found myself look inward, wanting to make change, struggle with that change. Doing the therapy to help heal and progress, and becoming the person I am today.

I've gotten the "do less" down. Now I have to learn to focus and Be.