You need Jeebuz!

My "therapist" told me I "needed god" again today. I've officially had four sessions with him, and he has brought it up in two of the four sessions. From the outsiders view point it probably seems nonchalant, mater of fact or not that big of a deal. But it is. It's a very big deal.

Our first session he asked me about some of the things I'v been successful at and to list some of my strengths. I told him that I managed to leave the Mormon cult and dispel much of the bigotry and hatred that was taught from my upbringing and religious beliefs and that I was now agnostic-atheist. To which he replied "I don't think you are atheist." After scoffing at him thinking he was joking, but noticing his serious face, I grimaced and asked him why he said that- feeling awkward. We just met, what did he know of my beliefs other than what I just told him? He shrugged it off and said that it's rare to see people go to such extremes and it be meaningful or true and that I had a good heart, and my love of god is still there. That was in March 2020.

Today Friday June 19th, for our fourth session, he had been closed for 3.5 months during covid, he mentioned it again. And that "even if I didn't believe in god(s) I needed to." And that "I spent my life getting to know the wrong one." That "it would give me a reason to live if I only found the right something to pour my heart, time and energy into." And it could be anything higher power in the universe I wanted it to be.

I already didn't like this old man when his office stayed closed during the quarantine., l alone his wild assessment of me in fact not being godless, directly after telling him I was. Also during that first session he told me that he doesn't have the tools to help me the best based on my desire for specific therapy he did no offer, but would happily properly diagnosis me and send me a referral else place. He's so past strike three at this present time anyways that when I showed up yesterday for my appointment he double booked with another one of his regular clients he apologized and told me to come back same time tomorrow. I did, but I didn't want to. (story of my life with therapists)

I told him today that today would be our last session, but if I need to keep making appointments for him to write me a potential future referral to a facility who can help me, than I would. He told me that wouldn't be necessary and he'd write any referrals without any other appointments. Thank you fake sky daddy! He is now the second of dozens of therapists who made me feel so unwanted in his practice for four straight months. So unwanted and broken that even though he has a specialist degree in his field, couldn't help me and quick to send me to a place that doesn't have specialists, just social workers- a lesser educational degree than himself- who is still closed and not taking appointments.

I don't think religion belongs in therapy, unless religion is important to you. None the less there are other things I don't like about Doctor John Brown, Psychologist. While he speaks his truth and is honest, I believe him quick to judgement and out of date with technology (making accurate appointments or being open during covid not even for tele-pysch appointments).

Still Looking

Goodbye #9. You won't be missed. #LookingForNumer10