Happy Anniversary

Yup, Sean and I are back together. Surprised? I'm not.

My crippled goober

LOL

We have officially known each other a year. From our first date until now, we haven't gone but a few days without seeing each other. Even during the break up. And now we live together. OOF.

I didn't imagine our relationship going like this, but ups and downs are apart of all of my love relationships. It's a Borderline trait. I know it will inevitably happen, but I don't always known when or how it will happen and I'm rarely prepared. Sean has decided to fight it with me. :) Even though I fully understand if and when he ever choose not to. My burdens are not light!

I do believe that I am not in a great spot to give the love and attention I use to be able to in my past to Sean, or anyone for that matter. I love him a lot and he has weathered this, seemingly never ending, storm for most of our relationship. It just got worse during Covid. Losing a good therapist in February due to her not trusting me....and my last one fucking died two weeks ago. WTF...

Good news though. Thursday I have a tele-pysch appointment with a therapist! With the therapist from almost two years ago that encouraged me leaving the Mormon cult and I did! I only had three appointments with him than. I wasn't ready for what he had to offer. I think I may be in a head space ready for that now! Here's to hopping it's a positive experience!

That being said Sean and I have been depending on each other a lot lately. We went to the beach, to relax and celebrate our anniversary, and he fucked up his foot. He stepped on something that broke off and lodged itself inside his foot and he had surgery, 9 day ago. He's been off work and on bed rest since.

My goober in a hole.

Tonight was the first night we washed his hair since before his surgery! He isn't to shower as it's impossible not to get his foot wet. I need to get tape so we can wrap his foot in plastic so he can at least try instead of these average sponge baths. Nothing compares to an actual hot steaming shower. He hates elevating and icing his foot and staying horizontal.

He has no idea how attractive he is...

Him in pain, showing me his hurt foot.

I've been bringing him ice, fetching him food and drink, as well as doing laundry. I even bring him a two cups, one to gargle one to spit in so he brushes his teeth in bed. I also drive him around because he can't drive either. Waiting on him literally... hand and FOOT because he is only to get out of bed to shit and piss, and if the doctor thought we had a bed pan and we'd use it, he'd suggest that! LOL

He was really exited about this cake.

Initial foot concern. Didn't look bad honestly.

He had to use the rest of his vacation for this time off. I'm glad he thought to buy more last year from work. . . He learned he should have signed up for the short term disability during his first 30 days enrollment of employment for his work 18 months ago. He never thought it would happen to him or he would need it! Even with his vacation time, there will still be a few more days he misses of no pay before he can return. We are hoping for a fast recovery as he has listened to the doctor orders.

This process has had us bickering at each other, which is fairly unusual for us, but it's possible the honey moon phase has just lasted a long time for us. Sean noticed it and mentioned "are we okay? We always fight lately . . ."

Day 1 after surgery, high as a kite!

Truth be told I hate living with other people. Especially in such a crowded place. I need my own space. Soon we will have that, but again, affordable apartments can take time to find and get into. Most places are full right now, people say check back in August when kicking people out who are late on rent is no longer illegal from Covid.... Besides Sean still has to pay his rent at his current apartment until November regardless of when we decide to move out. Our goal is September 1, that gives us roughly a month.

He starts school in September too! Mostly online. SO many things are changing at once.Indeed life in your 20's are fast paced. This year has been one mishap after another as a collective world suffering. It's not so hard when only a few are struggling, but everyone has been on edge lately. SEND EARTH SOME HELP AND LOVE!

So back to Sean and out relationship. He's my boyfriend. I want this for us, but I still have work to do. He recognizes we still have many things to work on. His foot surgery has set him back financially in a way that wasn't planned for, who can plan for this? All while saving up to move out. I'm still working with him on having a better saving pattern so things like this won't hinder him as much. It's just a process.

First hair wash in 8 days!

The boy asked for steak and potatoes!

There are many wheels in motion. I have my own things in my own life I had to worry about. Getting a P.O. Box, packing, getting a storage unit for my things because it was not fitting in Sean's room/apartment, finding proper health care providers during the worlds uncertainly. Staying healthy. And every day care things that just slip away. Laundry, dishes, vacuuming, changing the act litter. Gaining more weight and my clothing not fitting... again. *grrr*

With out Sean though, I wouldn't have had anywhere else to go when my dad kicked me out over family drama, we weren't even "in" a relationship than. At least we hadn't talked about it. Just forced roommates earlier than planned.

Moving boxes to storage!

We are working on things together. Together is how relationships work. But we can't wait to get some space from each other. I WANT MY OWN ROOM. yeah, I know it's weird to live with your partner and not share a bed or room. I need my own space. Him being out of work.... is hard on both of us and he can't wait to get back!

Late apologies that this blog is all over the place. Just giving updates on a bunch of things at once with a bunches of photos from July 2020! I'm done with July, give me August!

Incel photo bombing my phone. Above the shoulders Sean. That angel is hideous on everyone!