Poly Dating Rambles Update: Part 3

Prepare for screen shots!

Three and a half months into having a boyfriend, and I've only been on 3 other dates with 2 other people. One of those made it to a 2nd date, before I wasn't interested. The other was physically pushy with kissing/touching/hugging during the first, when I told him not to be. It seemed to me he was trying to get back at his wife. from spending so much time with her other boyfriend, and he didn't have "his" someone else. I'm not interested in being on the end of that dynamic. Poly dating doesn't mean the people in them are navigating them in a healthy manner, it just means its going to fail when you don't have good communication skills or intentions.

It's always party this. Smoking that. Rub it out. Lets go out for a drink at 1A.M. Most people I am meeting aren't genuinely interested in romance, or love. Sex jokes are funny sometimes. But this is online dating, I hear them in every message. They aren't jokes anymore, come on now. If you want sex, say so. Don't be such a dull person.

I've had men who don't read my profile. (does anyone besides me read them? lol) Where it is clearly listed that I am polyamerous and partnered. It's okay if you don't know what that means, but when I bring up that I have a boyfriend, don't ask me if he is okay that I go on dates with other people. As if I need permission, as if my boyfriend "allows" me to have sex with other men. As if I belong to him. Ask me what being poly means, how our relationship dynamic works. Or google it yourself. You can see your way out now... thanks.

Then there are those odd balls trying to sell you drugs. Like.... what? Something really weird was going on there. Language barrier, immaturity or just a troll? I don't know, but I mean damn, W.T.F.

I was recently reminded from a friend that my rapist, of course, is still using tinder. *sighs* I was out to dinner with my boyfriend when the news came to me, it caught me off guard.

Dating takes effort. Sometimes a lot of emotional effort, and even though I don't have any other partners besides my boyfriend- let me remind you I was single nearly 3 years before finding him. Prior to my current boyfriend, over the course of a month I would go on many dates and sometime have sex with multiple men. We stayed tested, and safe, I have a favorite condom! Some have questioned my interest in an actual relationship(s) because of my sexual activities. My reply came to "I will not sacrifice my sex life, just because they aren't what I am looking for romantically or emotionally." I am getting my fulfillment of close friendship, companionship, romance and sex now. There are things about my relationship I'd like it enhance with another partner. Not everyone has what you are looking for or need. I don't personally believe I need to go with out, or try and make someone be that for me, when they aren't.

There are all sorts of dating styles. I am totally pro getting the sex you deserve and desire. I just wish people were more courteous, kind and loving to each other. It is an energy exchange. It is meant to be fun. I get that sometimes you just need no strings attached. But that needs to be discussed. People are constantly going around using others for their own pleasure without returning the favor. On purpose. That's abuse. Friendship is mutual usery. Same should go for any other healthy relationship. For fucks sakes don't be a rapist. And don't be like these people either. . .

He wasn't talking about yoga....