Quakerism

I have friends who have introduced me to Quakerism. Which is a secular religion that is known for being progressives, aware and values seeking truth through the power and of silence during meetings. *Thinks back High School world religion classes*

But what stands out most to me being introduced to it as an adult is... Stillness. 

You might be quiet, but when you are silent you realize just how much around you still makes sound. Still has movement.  Still has life... you are just present during- you are choosing this state of mind with other people gathered in a room, everyone facing each other.

Have you heard of the Quakers? (I keep spelling or quackers. Lol ) Have you been to a meeting, share your thoughts in the comments!

An older man (65+) came into meeting a few minutes after us and it made me think "wow he had lived a long time! He must be full of wisdom. " I don't feel that way about all old people, some are just bitter with age. But I feel with active practice of peace and calmness, his soul must be wise. He looked gentle at least. (Wisdom meaning having the action to apply your learned knowledge.) There was about 20 other people there. That's what spirituality should be- togetherness- even in small numbers, even when apart, or when completely quiet. It gives me feeling similar feelings to how I felt in the Mormon temple. (See "Lower Case g" to learn a little why I left the Mormon faith.)

But finding that grounding is so... bitter sweet. The first 20 mins wasn't so bad, I journaled some of this during it in fact. Jotting down thoughts and feelings coming to me. minutes 25-45 was the hardest. My anxiety was terrible having racing thoughts ,jitteriness. sitting still, I felt so uncomfortable. I wanted my shoes off like the dude beside me, how the heck did he look so peaceful. I wish I wore something different, "Why am I breathing so loud?." And minutes 50-55 was the most still for me. everything calmed down, and no I didn't fall asleep....

Just when I was giving into the silence I hear movement so I open my eyes to see everyone standing, smiling, looking at each other and then am greeted by everyone. Kindness overload, THIS IS MY JAM. Hello's, handshakes, offers for hugs, sincere smiles and warmth filled the room. This was lovely, I liked this part a lot. We then sat back down for a few minutes and everyone took turns introducing themselves and if they wanted to add anything about how they felt today, if they were new to meeting. It was awesome to hear genuine and real experiences about everyone else's 60 mins. Some did not experience that stillness they aim for. But its good to experience a little vulnerability in spirituality together

It was my 2nd meeting, I attended with my friends back on Easter Sunday, but there were two new people there who had never gone to meeting. Including my friends sister, and another solo younger man.

We didn't join them at Panera for chit chat and brunch. We had our own plans for the rest of the day but it was nice to set aside 60 mins to silence. To searching. To growing. And with intent to do good to ourselves and people everywhere.